Sunday, October 16, 2016
Oh Those Heated Social Media Debates: How Effective Communication Can Help
Communication does not precede understanding, and
understanding does not come before communication. The two work in unison and
lead to growth, in some shape or form. It’s the old chicken or egg conundrum
for so many people, and that is exactly why so many people fail to understand
each other when communicating. This has
become increasingly apparent on social media sites where a large virtual
community come together to discuss an idea, or recent event. Sides are drawn,
and time after time, I watch as it figuratively hits the fan. In most cases, I’m
a fly on the wall to it all, with my buttered bucket of large popcorn, taking
in all the excitement just like the Michael Jackson meme (you know the one,
youngish-blackish Michael with the Thriller jacket). In other cases, I concede
and jump into the fray. I differ from most however because I go in with my own
ideas, but two eyes open, two ears present, and one mind looking for a
different perspective, ready to listen as much as I am to inform from my own
perspective.
The idea isn’t to go in circles like that one special-bus
dog, chasing its own tail for hours upon hours, but to reach some kind of
understanding through communication. If you think strategic communication has
no part in Facebook post which turn into heated discussions that have a comment
thread as long as the line outside of Apple on launch day, you Sir or Madame,
are mistaken. You want to get your point across, that’s why you even bother to
comment. You want to engage in the discussion and for someone, anyone to hear
you. The next move is important, and where the majority fails. They half step
when commenting, and Big Daddy Kane taught us, ain’t no half steppin. People tend to be so passionate about their
perspective they basically yell their “truth” and leave no room for
interpretation or contrasting ideas. People deal in absolutes in these
discussions and too few things are absolute in this world.
We as communicators have to weave through the noise and find
the common ground of understanding. If I join a discussion on Black Lives
Matter as the topic, there may be an individual who has a completely different
reality from my own or of many I know, and not be able to relate in the same
way I can. That can lead to comments from said individual to be completely
opposite to me, a black man who grew up in Brooklyn. Being the effective
communicator I am (brushes shoulders) I listen, absorb, ask more questions for
greater clarification and then begin to interject my own logic. My answers are
not the end all, be all, but they serve a purpose to help said individual
understand my perspective, my plight, and I theirs.
Effective communication does not work when you are
attacking, or dealing in absolutes, nor when it gets racially offensive (cough
cough: like every other comment on YouTube content) rather when you go in with
the purpose of understanding, and hopefully, enlightening. So the next time you
invest your time in a heated discussion in one of the many virtual social
communities, listen, absorb, seek greater clarification and focus on reaching
understanding. Once those hills have been climbed, feel free to crush the other
person with logic and hard hitting facts.
Tuesday, September 27, 2016
In A Room Full Of Death Ears Part 2
On the ships that shipped US
Something else was shipped
That was
Dismantled, delayed ,almost destroyed and
dismissed
The voice of ancestry
Slips the though bloodlines
Regards less of current predicaments
The clamor of disagreeable sounds
Mute out the natural collectivist
So the barrels
Of our Barriers got us acting
Like crabs
Stabbing each other's skin
Clamoring to drink the poison of industrialized
Sins
As the laughing hyenas of the 1 percent
Innovate ways to diminish
The humanistic qualities
Of beings
Deemed inferior
Because the gleam of the sun
Off our skin
Is brighter
Than the glint
At the tip of their guns
The
Measly samples of prosperity
Drapes our necks,stitched to purses and cover our feet
When math ,reading ,and critical thinking proficiency
Are below C level
Destined to be shipwrecked
while navigating
Through Barometric standards of which we are measured
Who begs for acceptance
One addicted to the crack Cocaine smolder
Of the war on us
Wishing on the napalm agent orange colored
Rainbow
Smoking deoxygenated air
Their lungs spit the Agenda
Stimulating deafness
That defies
The death sentence
To the pandemonium
In the land promised to no one
The man child .....
Who can bear children
Is either a biological weapon
to manufacture toys soldiers
A drone
Castrated by the middle aged Dementia
Of the physically unable to perform
Stock holder
Or A target practiced
upon by the Un-policed
Imagination of boy soldiers
Nostalgia has a strangle hold on the the ego of the supremacist
Who list false prophecies of our identities
And predestined our fate
Though acts of war domestic and abroad
Them
Reduced to the lowest common denominator
The word was written on the side of those ships
The boy can be broken
But the man who speaks for himself
With the woman at his side
Cannot never be an N word
Before the oak tree
Was cut down
No one heard it scream
The handle is one of us
So hollow olive branches
Are handed out when
When we are cut down
We are broad strokes
Drawn in the womb
Of our mothers
With the ink of our fathers
Written in the structure of the space time continuum
The surgical addiction
Dictates
The next
Cosmetic procedure that copies
Our physical features
Yet
Would erase our influence
We scream no justice no peace
Our howls are lullabies
our shouts put them to sleep
And the blood that's on their hands
Decorates the walls of their
Dreams
We celebrated the removal of hoods
Forgetting they move among us
Judging,lawyering,
managing water supplies,
Patrolling,teaching,pointing , anointing deputies
While they still burn their cross
At our deaths
We Howell
We clamor
We post
We exclaim
We react
We internalize
We lash out
We lash within
We survive
We die
We yell
We cry
We have fought for
We have integrated
We have even begged
But the room that
We're doing this in
Is guarded deaf ears….............
More poetry and communication strategy @ communicationperceived.com
Tuesday, September 6, 2016
Interpersonal Communication Etiquette At Work: How To Navigate The Work Scene
Sometimes there are just certain things you don't bring with you to work. Just off the top of my head I think its safe to say smelly fish lunches, pink eye or any other contagious sickness, yesterday's unwashed work outfit, and a list of other things can stay out the work place, for everyone's sake.
When it comes to communication, there
is definitely a strategy to moving in a room full of vultures, (not
all co-workers are vultures...but yeah...some are).
We all have at some point, or will in
the future, sit through those “volun-told” corporate trainings on
equal opportunity, sexual harassment, and discriminatory actions in
the work place. Although it is great information provided, most of
you fall asleep or zone out during the PowerPoint sleep aide- I
may or may not have nodded off a time or two before. What's
being missed is evident, and that's the do's and don't's of the
workplace. Since you missed it there, lets recap, shall we.
Most of us spend more time with our
co-workers than we do with our actual family, and it's only natural
to communicate with our professional colleagues on a personal level
as well as professional. This is where you get to work as a
strategist and begin with audience analysis. You have to know who you
are talking to and what is appropriate to discuss with different
people. Audience analysis allows you to tailor your communication
content to the right party as to not accidentally offend someone by
something that you may consider harmless. This is especially
important when telling jokes in the work place.
Another rule of thumb, don't tell it
all. Everything isn't for everyone. If you feel the need to vent
about relationship problems, in depth medical situations of the very
private kind, or long, drawn out stories about the 39 sounds your cat
fluffy makes, save it for your BFF, or your therapist- who ever picks
up first. It's cool to make real connections and friendships at work,
and very common, but save the deep stuff for happy hour when your off
the clock.
Politics and religion is the thinnest
ice you can ever walk on. Wars have been fought over the two since
before it could even be defined. Everyone has different viewpoints,
and that's what makes the world a great and diverse place, but
contrasting ideas can lead to offense, which can lead to arguments,
which leads to limited productivity in the workplace. Limited
productivity usually means it's time to start letting some people go.
This is where we circle back to audience analysis, and getting to
know who you are talking to before you make a possibly offensive
comment. Current events in the news, especially those circling around
race tension, can cause similar divide, especially in a work place
with a diverse staff. These conversations need not be avoided like
the plague, rather engaged in a different setting.
When in doubt of what to say and who to
say it to, you can always stick to the safe conversations- family,
hobbies, food, sports, and Game of Thrones! Just kidding about GoT,
but really, a popular TV show is always clutch. These topics allow
you to talk about things that are a little deeper than surface level
and are strong bonds between a multitude of backgrounds.
You have to work with them, see them on
a regular basis, and communicate with them regularly, so why not try
to make it as comfortable as possible? Learn how to move in the
office scene when communication is involved, and watch your workplace
dynamic change for the better.
Sunday, September 4, 2016
Be the expert!
Be the expert, never stop perfecting your craft. It doesn’t matter what it is you do, there is always more knowledge out there to gain, a different perspective to see, and another approach to go by. Focus in on what you are most passionate about, or five things you are most passionate about, and one by one, tackle them all!
Everyone has it in them to absorb more knowledge, and let’s face it, in today’s technologically driven society, access to that knowledge is easier and easier. A mentor of mine, Alvin Phillips, my former Army commander, always would tell me “you don’t know what you don’t know”. He was articulating that a person can perceive to make a change without grasping some knowledge, but knowledge is like space, never ending, so you can’t have enough.
I am a well-seasoned communicator with a lot of experience, but somewhere in the world there are people who know what I already know, and who can teach me a thing or two. The same goes for those people who know more than I do, there are people who can teach them a thing or two. You don’t know what you don’t know. There is always room for growth.
Communication evolves as we do, and reaching towards the stars in an attempt to perfect your craft will only make you better, more relevant, more reliable, and leave you reaching a place somewhere in the sky. The tools are there, and google is our friend. When used properly to search and fact check our findings, we can access a world of helpful literature, websites (this website), lectures, TED talks, forums, and workshops.
Seek out a mentor in your given field, and learn from them. I cannot stress that enough. We learn best from each other, and what else is the meaning of life but to live, love, laugh and learn. If you find something to be worthwhile, then by all means learn from an expert and in turn become the subject matter expert.
Communication just happens to be my bag, but it can be fashion, fitness, design, or music for you, for anyone. The road begins by placing one foot in front of the other, and before you know it you’ll find yourself at the end of the beaten path where fresh grass grows and a sign under a willow tree reads “you have arrived”.
Step one is simple- determine what it is you are passionate about and want to pursue.
Step two is just as simple- research your subject and find a mentor who can help guide you along the way.
Step three- immerse yourself in that world, absorb knowledge related to that passion anywhere you can find it, and be active in looking.
Step four- back your formal knowledge up with practical knowledge. Add experience and perspective by applying your technique in the field or amongst others.
Step five- once you’ve learned all you think you need to know, look for ways to improve on what you know.
Step six- repeat steps 1 through 5.
Only then will you be a subject matter expert, and by result, a reliable source to communicate your knowledge to the next party.
View more strategic communication content at communicationperceieved.com!
View more strategic communication content at communicationperceieved.com!
6 Steps to Conquering Public Speaking…..Like A Boss!
Communication comes in many forms, and
what I will discuss with you now is the art of Public Speaking, and
believe me, there is an art to effective public speaking.
Public speaking is ranked as the number 1 fear amongst people according to studies, followed by death. No, seriously! People rather die than speak in front of people.
Successful public speaking, whether its
in a board room, in front of a class, or at a church, or a funeral where apparently you'd rather be in the casket than giving the eulogy, can be achieved
by following six key tips.
1. Your entrance into your
speaking position. Walk in calmly, and find a comfortable area in
front of your audience and get into a firm stance, standing upright
with no hunching. While the pressure to begin speaking might take
over with all eyes on you, don’t!…Take a moment to scan your
audience, take a deep breath and calm your nerves. This initial pause
will show your audience right off the bat, that you are in charge.
2. Use your voice to fill the room so
that you are sure the person in the back row can hear you clearly,
talking from your diaphragm. The goal is to speak louder than you
think you should actually be speaking. You wont’ be screaming, but
your voice will carry.
3. Speak slow!……...Use pauses
filled with nothing but silence. This helps in two ways. When we get
nervous while speaking, we tend to increase the rate at which we
speak, so you rush through your sentences and the words get
jumbled up……Use the silent pauses to collect your thoughts. The
silent pauses also help to navigate you away from filler words like
“um”, “like” and the “you knows”. We are very patient
creatures when it comes to focusing on a speaker, and will wait for
you to deliver your message. The majority of the audience is probably
encouraging you to do good and are receptive to your message. They
will wait for you.
4. Body language. You guys ever heard
of Ricky Bobby? I don’t know what to do with my hands. Don’t
let your hands become a distraction. Keep them centered, and around
the area of your belly button, and use them to gesture minimally, not
straying from an invisible box you create, no wider than your stance.
Also, don’t forget to smile! Smiling creates a warming affect with
your audience. Think about a conversation you’ve had with someone
over the phone. You can hear it in their voice as they speak, that
they are smiling. Smiling changes your tone and makes your voice more
pleasant to listen to.
5. Eye contact. We talked about
scanning the audience as you enter, but while you are speaking you
want to make eye contact with individual members in the audience.
Just a few will do, and ensure that you hold your gaze with them as
you speak. This creates a very engaging atmosphere with you and the
audience, as if you are speaking one on one with everyone in the
room. Even those you don’t make contact with can feel the
connection through the contact you make with others. Scan the
audience for those who are visually encouraging you with their
gestures and feed off of them for continued encouragement through eye
contact.
6. The audience is listening, waiting
on your every word for a reason. They want to receive something. They
want value from what you are delivering. Avoid the salesperson
dialogue of trying to force something on them, rather give something
they might want or need-your information. They have given you their
time, now give them something worthwhile in return.
Follow these six steps and you will
conquer any public speaking engagement……like a Boss!
View more strategic communication content at communicationperceieved.com!
View more strategic communication content at communicationperceieved.com!
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