Communication does not precede understanding, and
understanding does not come before communication. The two work in unison and
lead to growth, in some shape or form. It’s the old chicken or egg conundrum
for so many people, and that is exactly why so many people fail to understand
each other when communicating. This has
become increasingly apparent on social media sites where a large virtual
community come together to discuss an idea, or recent event. Sides are drawn,
and time after time, I watch as it figuratively hits the fan. In most cases, I’m
a fly on the wall to it all, with my buttered bucket of large popcorn, taking
in all the excitement just like the Michael Jackson meme (you know the one,
youngish-blackish Michael with the Thriller jacket). In other cases, I concede
and jump into the fray. I differ from most however because I go in with my own
ideas, but two eyes open, two ears present, and one mind looking for a
different perspective, ready to listen as much as I am to inform from my own
perspective.
The idea isn’t to go in circles like that one special-bus
dog, chasing its own tail for hours upon hours, but to reach some kind of
understanding through communication. If you think strategic communication has
no part in Facebook post which turn into heated discussions that have a comment
thread as long as the line outside of Apple on launch day, you Sir or Madame,
are mistaken. You want to get your point across, that’s why you even bother to
comment. You want to engage in the discussion and for someone, anyone to hear
you. The next move is important, and where the majority fails. They half step
when commenting, and Big Daddy Kane taught us, ain’t no half steppin. People tend to be so passionate about their
perspective they basically yell their “truth” and leave no room for
interpretation or contrasting ideas. People deal in absolutes in these
discussions and too few things are absolute in this world.
We as communicators have to weave through the noise and find
the common ground of understanding. If I join a discussion on Black Lives
Matter as the topic, there may be an individual who has a completely different
reality from my own or of many I know, and not be able to relate in the same
way I can. That can lead to comments from said individual to be completely
opposite to me, a black man who grew up in Brooklyn. Being the effective
communicator I am (brushes shoulders) I listen, absorb, ask more questions for
greater clarification and then begin to interject my own logic. My answers are
not the end all, be all, but they serve a purpose to help said individual
understand my perspective, my plight, and I theirs.
Effective communication does not work when you are
attacking, or dealing in absolutes, nor when it gets racially offensive (cough
cough: like every other comment on YouTube content) rather when you go in with
the purpose of understanding, and hopefully, enlightening. So the next time you
invest your time in a heated discussion in one of the many virtual social
communities, listen, absorb, seek greater clarification and focus on reaching
understanding. Once those hills have been climbed, feel free to crush the other
person with logic and hard hitting facts.
No comments:
Post a Comment